Sorry everyone for completely neglecting my DA account, my FB account and just art in general.
It wasn't done intentionally I promise. I will be honest with you, I've been put off my art a little due to someone who is actually related to me calling "bullshit" on my artwork. Why? Because he didn't believe I had the talent to do it. .. Which is strange considering my art is hanging all over the house (on canvas.. with acrylic?)..
This was a blow to my confidence (a large one), I was questioning why should I be on here, uploading art with all these other great artists when its just a hobby for me? I'll never be famous, I'll never sell my art to "fans". I'm not a good enough original painter, I don't feel I have the talent to make my mark on the artistic community.
I have slowly been rebuilding my confidence through sketching, painting and generally small things that we usually ignore. Just practicing. Which you know, I have sooo many people compliment me on my art, I cannot tell you how much that means to me, yet one negative comment and I'm left feeling defeated?
I have also been through a bit when it comes to relationships, not only have I been single for a few months now (which has been awesome) but I have also met someone. Who mind you is having to work really hard just to keep me interested. He is lovely, but I feel detached, I'm not interested, I know all the pretty words and gestures, I know those sentences that guys weave together to get you close. I'm not an idiot, I see it, I am sick of the "I love yous" and the "you are so beautiful" bullshit.
I want flowers, I want the guy to make an effort with my family, I want him to treat me like a princess, because quite frankly I am. I'm nice, I am funny, smart, beautiful and talented. Never again am I going to doubt this. I have standards and morals. I have a family that care about me and parents that will forever protect me.
Mainly I just want someone who will respect me and what I ask of them. So far he has lived up to my expectations. We shall see if further heartache will ensue or if I will be once again jumping off the deep end way to fast for my own good.
<3 Dreaming Merchant.